Baked Goods

-Butter
-Bicarbonate soda
-Smarties
-Ground ginger
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Damned if I know how to bake!
“Why do I even have flour?” I asked the half full bag.
No reply. Maybe, it was half empty.

This girl, is one hell of a thing. Spellbinding. Dangerous even.
“One thing, before she gets here: ever muddled limes for rum?” I questioned the electric mixer.
Silence.
“Fine, but I’m not buyin’ it. Surely there is more for you.”
Fucking citrus. Everywhere.
Cleaning is a hard slog, drunk.
No wonder pirates were abhorrent, they were too busy living.

“I hope she’s spright.” I said to the lime corpses, knowing I had done nothing to deserve beauty.
“I’m a tell you what needs done.” A voice chimed in. “Lend your ear.”
I shook my head.
“Flour I’m almost certain your innate wisdom cant be trusted.” I said, unflinching.

She was beautiful. A certain kind of soul. A familiar one.
The night came and went. Her kiss inspired perversions, and lingered like the glow from an orgasm at breakfast. Bliss.
“Gingerbread?” I signalled my Bull Terrier
He smirked at my swooning. The fat bastard.